Hello, you’ve caught us being thoughtful on a Thursday.
Here on thoughtful Thursday we ponder the important questions. We debate the undiscussable. We consider the insignificantly inconsiderable in all their glory. This wonderful series begins with one of our writer’s favourite games, Demon’s Souls. Buckle up as we list the inane and the insane, every Thursday, for as long as our minds are able.
Number Five – Yurt, the Silent Chief
In a Souls game, including Demon’s Souls, there is always a very clearly obviously evil/mean/assassin NPC. In Demon’s Souls, this is the legendary Yurt. The new player and completionist is the worst of his targets, as they are bound to find and rescue them, going through the NPCs and lining them up like figurines on the Demon’s Souls shelf. Only the figurines then start being broken. Whenever you go out to buy a new one, by the time you return, another lies smashed on the floor. What could have possibly caused this, you say as the cat in the corner chuckles to themselves, sharpening a claw and telling you they very clearly love to smash figurines. That’s Yurt.
In my original playthrough I’m fairly certain he got a few kills off before I realised the culprit, being naive as I was. Surely their deaths are just part of the story, not my own fault, there’s no way someone I rescued would start just stabbing after each boss.
Yurt teaches the player to suspect “the vibe” of a new NPC. Especially a jailed one. This will or will not prepare players for when it inevitably happens once again in the next Souls title.
Number Four – Ostrava, of Boletaria
When hope and help are rare, the little that you actually get is oh so sweet. Hence my sweet Ostrava is on this little list. This golden boy can be found roaming the first Demon’s Souls world, and you can help or ignore him. Help, and he will fight through a section with you, making it much easier if you’re new to the series. I was certainly creeping around each corner, dying often, and taking it all very carefully. Until this legend popped up, and we charged forward like the warriors of old.
Ostrava harkens to a certain, gloriously incandescent NPC, foreshadowing the mascot of our wonderful little site. In classic Souls fashion, you grow a bond with this NPC as you progress in the first world, until it’s all torn down with a duel on a bridge. A bittersweet farewell to the Solaire of yesteryear. I hope you saw we were going to finish your mission, Ostrava.
Number Three – Sparkly the Crow
CAW! Discovering this NPC is one of the joys that Demon’s Souls really excels at. Which is being weird. This is a cute crow who trades items with you, but of course only the best and most sparkly. Also they don’t trade them like any sane NPC.
Instead you have to leave an item, then leave the area or quit the game and reload in, for Sparkly to leave you the new item. Ah yes, Demon’s Souls trading. No, you don’t deserve a nice trading menu with you know, a visible reward for the item you’re bartering. Who knows what you’ll get. A stick maybe. But its the complexity, weirdness, and obscurity that help make Demon’s Souls unique. Hence, the great Sparkly is our top dog (bird). CAW!
Number Two – Patches the Hyena
Your character is temporary. Patches is eternal.
You cannot escape him. Put on a new Souls game, he’s already there. Waiting. Ready to push you down another pit. But really he’s everyones best bud and we all know it, he’s just misunderstood. You see, through struggle comes strength, that’s what these games are all about! So really, Patches is the most helpful NPC in Demon’s Souls. He helps you grow stronger, for free! He really should charge. What a kind man.
This crafty boi is the only recurring NPC that turns up in every Souls title, even in Bloodborne, which is perhaps his most horrific version. Apt.
Top Dog – Stockpile Thomas
This guy vies for the title of most wholesome NPC. In Demon’s Souls, at least, he clearly wins this (admittedly sparse) category. I just get a warm fuzzy feeling whenever he says I have a heart of gold. What a lad, what a legend. Shame about his family and all that.
This madlad, in a horrific and selfish world, takes all your fancy, powerful weapons, and keeps them safe and sound for you. Neatly organised in little boxes. All these incredible items (and the crap as well of course), and he doesn’t steal a single thing. Nah, just keeps it in his boxes. The amount of souls he could make from selling everything you put in his storage could probably buy a small nation.
Most selfless NPC with the largest warehouse and logistics team, that’s for sure.
Honourable Mention – Old King Doran
To cheese, or not to cheese. That is the question.
I choose cheese.
This guy is an absolute nightmare unless you use one of the tried and true Demon’s Souls cheese methods. If you do, you get some incredible equipment, potentially very early in the game. Also he slow walks at you which is very cool. Or maybe he forget Havel’s ring, take your pick.